This is my tribute version to the Pants on the Ground ditty.
I made it the Tiger Woods Version:
Balls on the Ground
Balls on the Ground
Layin' here with my Balls on the Ground
Can't sit up
Can't turn around
Layin' here with my Balls on the Ground
Young Cute Wife caught me foolin' around
she snuck up and nailed my Balls to the Ground
I can't stand up
I can't go to town
I'm stayin' right here with my Balls on the Ground
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
Top 10 reasons Obama was elected President and not Me
10. I would move all of our Iraq based military troops to the largest oil field in southern Iraq near the sea port and secure it, I would let the rest of Iraq sort out their political issues themselves and tell them " This oil field is ours until we recover the money we've wasted here in the last 10 years, When we are done, we'll leave and you can have it back".
9. I would pull all troops out of Afganistan and Pakistan, I would blanket all known and suspected areas of terrorist operations with so many surveillance drones they would block out the sky 24 hrs a day, if someone farts in those areas we will know immediately and bomb them into dust.
8. I would make the Auto Manufacturers that took Bailout money give every native born American over the age of 40 a free car if they want one.
7. I would make the banks and mortgage companies who caused American citizens to be forclosed on between 2005 and 2009 because of junk loans, reimburse them 50% of their home's highest listed market value during that period.
6. I would make it manatory for Illeagal Aliens caught committing a misdemenor crime and convicted, to pass an English language course before they are released and they will be required to speak English in any job dealing with the public, If a native or naturalized citizen files a complaint againt them for not speaking English, they will be arrested again.
5. I would make it manatory for Illeagal Aliens caught committing a felony crime and convicted, to serve their sentence in the US military overseas in a war zone or in a Domestic work force rebuilding community projects around the country. If they attempt to flee from one of these assignments they will be shot on sight.
4. I'd Renegotiate treaties with the Native Americans.
3. I'd make the Gray Wolf the National Canine.
2. I would execute anyone caught holding a cell phone to their ear while driving.
1. I would make Texas Hold'em the National Pastime!.
9. I would pull all troops out of Afganistan and Pakistan, I would blanket all known and suspected areas of terrorist operations with so many surveillance drones they would block out the sky 24 hrs a day, if someone farts in those areas we will know immediately and bomb them into dust.
8. I would make the Auto Manufacturers that took Bailout money give every native born American over the age of 40 a free car if they want one.
7. I would make the banks and mortgage companies who caused American citizens to be forclosed on between 2005 and 2009 because of junk loans, reimburse them 50% of their home's highest listed market value during that period.
6. I would make it manatory for Illeagal Aliens caught committing a misdemenor crime and convicted, to pass an English language course before they are released and they will be required to speak English in any job dealing with the public, If a native or naturalized citizen files a complaint againt them for not speaking English, they will be arrested again.
5. I would make it manatory for Illeagal Aliens caught committing a felony crime and convicted, to serve their sentence in the US military overseas in a war zone or in a Domestic work force rebuilding community projects around the country. If they attempt to flee from one of these assignments they will be shot on sight.
4. I'd Renegotiate treaties with the Native Americans.
3. I'd make the Gray Wolf the National Canine.
2. I would execute anyone caught holding a cell phone to their ear while driving.
1. I would make Texas Hold'em the National Pastime!.
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