A Visit to the Poker Gods

Recently I was in Las Vegas for a friend's wedding. I lived in Las Vegas for 9 years before moving back to Texas in 2007.
In the last 2 years I've met some new friends that play poker every Saturday night. They have a nice set of poker chips that accommodate about 25 players.
I saw a need to supplement their chips when on occasion they would run short on high end chips if extra players came to the game. Not being one who will just say " Hey, I found this for you when I was in Las Vegas" I concocted this tale for my Hostess.

While visiting Las Vegas We decide to take a side trip to Red Rock Canyon to visit the place where my wife and I got married. While walking down one of the hiking trails I gazed up the side of the canyon and noticed a glimmer of light in a small cave. My curiosity got the best of me and I climbed up the mountain to the cave to find out what was shining from inside, as I got closer the reflected light grew greater, when I reached the entrance I saw many piles of loose casino chips strewn across the floor of the cave.

My eyes took a few minutes to adjust to the darkness as I entered the cave, there was a dim glow deep in the cave once I could see again. the spectacle before me was beyond imagination, the cave was very deep and high, the further I went into the cave the piles of chips got larger, Chips from every casino that existed in Las Vegas in the last 40 years.

There were also poker tables from all the casinos in various conditions, some looked brand new, others were broken and ripped and still others looked like they had been burned. It was a disturbing sight.
A sight that was most unnerving was the table sitting off to the side that looked like it was ready for a game with a skeleton of a dealer in a Binion's Horseshoe uniform slumped over in his seat the cards gripped tightly in his right hand. Like he was waiting to deal a game that never got played.

I ventured deeper into the cave along a path that was littered with playing cards, I was headed toward a turn in the cave where the flickering light was getting brighter as I got closer. As I rounded the bend there was a great white marble Palace before me, The 100 foot stairway leading up to the entrance had miniature signs and marquees from every casino that ever existed in Las Vegas, lining the top of the banisters. At the top above the entrance was a larger than life replica of the "Welcome to Las Vegas" sign. The neon was blinding.
The facade of the palace incorporated the theme of all the casinos, it stretched thousands of feet in each direction and a thousand feet high. An overwhelming sight to behold.
As I was trying to absorb this great spectacle before me, I was startled by a deep booming voice from above, "Welcome, poker player" I stared up the stairs trying to see through the lights, "Please, Join us" I saw the huge glass doors swing open.

As I made my way up the stairs, I noticed the signs on the banisters worked exactly like the originals, turning and flashing, hawking the current entertainment inside. About a third of the way up I remembered I had my sunglasses and promptly put them on, "Ahh" that was much better, now that I was no longer blinded I made my way to the top more quickly.

I entered through the doors and stopped to gaze at the interior of this palace. Before me was a raised throne platform with 13 Thrones, on the back of each throne was carved a Spade and a rank 2 through Ace, each successive chair was a little taller that the previous one.

This was the "Hall of the Poker Gods" Where the greatest poker players of all time held court and watched over players around the world. I began to walk toward the thrones and the voice spoke again, "Please feel free to explore the palace". "Thank You" I said.
Behind the thrones was an anter room with a golden poker table in the middle, around the walls were bust of the best poker players in the world, past and present. In the center of the back wall were 2 crystal cabinets, one had racks of chips in Diamond,Platinum, Gold, and Silver, the other was full of red and blue decks of cards made of the finest materials that never wear out. I wondered about the games that were played here.

I returned to the entrance and looked to my left down the corridor and saw holograms of thousands of professional or sanctioned games in progress, to my right were banks and banks of video screens which appeared to have home games displayed on them each was labeled with a location.
I walked down to the Hologram area and it was amazing to stand in the middle of these games taking place around the world, I could walk around the tables of the World Series of Poker or the WPT and look at the cards any player was holding. I could observe any professional player any time. I was in awe of this place. I then noticed there are ghostly figures of other professional players also observing the action on the tables. So this's how they do it!

I then ventured to the other corridor to see what was happening on the Video screens.
I saw that most of the screens were viewing private homes, in places like Denver, Colorado, Riverside, California, Beijing, China, Helsinki, Finland and so on.
Some screen were blank but had labels like "Don's Office game, Cletus's Barn game,
those seem to be games that changed locations frequently. I wandered through the banks of screens stopping to observe what was going on in the players daily home life. There it was on way back in the corner of the corridor, Higgen's Home game, Grapevine Texas.
I was seeing Lee and Kim's house. I laughed and began watching, There was Lee, he looked like he was leaving to go to his ball game, He kissed Kim and left, Kim went into the kitchen and got something to drink then when into the bathroom, she started the water in the tub and began to pull up her blouse, Suddenly the voice spoke and startled me again " Player we will see you now! "POOF!", I was back before the thrones, "HEY! I wasn't done watching that!" I said, "What? Oh, That's not what those video feeds are for, ya pervert, It was about to scramble in a second anyway","To be honest, I some times unscramble it and watch Kim, Kim's a real looker!Don't ya think?" said the voice. "ANYWAY, You are here for poker are you not?" "Yes" I said, "Ok then!" he answered, I looked up at the throne and there in the Ace seat was a figure I couldn't quite make out, He was kind of fuzzy,like he wasn't really there but, I could tell he was large and had a cowboy hat on and he spoke with a Texas drawl. It had to be none other that "Texas Dolly, Doyle Brunson". The other thrones had ghost figures sitting in them too, but I couldn't make out who they were.

"You were lucky to find our little place here, We don't let many know we have this Palace, this is where we come to get away from the bullshit media around the game. It was a lot more fun in the old days." "We do however like to keep an eye on players who play because they really love the game". "We've watched Lee and Kim's for some time and all of the players there are good, even you!" Uh, What is your name?" "Mark" I said, "Oh,ok, Mark, We have observed that when there are more players than expected at those games there is a chip shortage", "That's right, they have these thin plastic chips they use for $1000 markers sometimes." I replied. Doyle says " Yes, we've seen that, and we the "POKER GODS" would like to help such loyal players. So here, Doyle gets up and goes around to the chip cabinet behind the thrones and opens it, he rummages around in the bottom for a minute then pulls out a plastic bag of gold chips and hands them to me. "Here take these to the Higgens and tell them this is from the POKER GODS" "I think I won those in a HORSE tournament one year"
"THANKS! they'll love this" I said. " Now, Mark it's time for you to leave, I have a $10,000 SIT-N-GO online in 15 minutes. "Dolly, I have a couple quick questions for you before I go" I said, "SHOOT" said Doyle, " Whose skeleton is that out front?" "That is Bob, the last dealer at the Horseshoe before the WSOP was moved to the RIO, the stubborn ass refused to believe we weren't coming back. I told him, It's LAS VEGAS, things change all the time!"
"And what about all the tables?" That's Phil Helmuth!, Throwing his pussy ass tantrums!" He pisses on the new tables when he loses to pocket deuces, rips the felt when beat by an amateur and burns the tables when I beat him, the jackass! We've done our best to keep that knowledge from the public", "Thanks, Doyle" "Bye Mark"

WOOSH!

I find myself sitting at a picnic table back where I started. "Find anything?" my wife ask, "Look, I found this old bag of chips, I wonder how they got up there?" I reply, "Honey, anything is possible in this town" she says, "True!" I said, "Well, I think I'll give these to Lee and Kim" "We go home tomorrow, Let's go back to the hotel!"

As I open the door to get in the car, I look up where the cave was and I see the entrance slowly seal itself. I chuckle, get in the car and drive off.